🔗 Share this article

At times, Jay Spring feels he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his periods of extreme self-importance often turn “detached from reality”, he explains. You feel invincible and you tell yourself, ‘The world will recognize that I’m better than them … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are usually succeeded by a “emotional downturn”, a period when he feels overwhelmed and self-conscious about his actions, rendering him especially susceptible to disapproval from others. He came to wonder he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after looking up his traits online – and was later confirmed by a specialist. However, he doubts he would have taken the label without having already reached that realization on his own. “If you try to tell somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – especially if they experience feelings of superiority. They operate in an altered state that they’ve constructed. And in that mindset, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding The Condition

While people have been identified with narcissism for decades, it’s not always clear what is meant by the diagnosis. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” says a leading researcher, adding the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he believes many people hide it, due to so much stigma linked to the disorder. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a pattern of manipulating others to seek admiration through actions such as seeking admiration,” the specialist explains. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in Narcissism

Though three-quarters of people found to have the condition are males, findings points out this number does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that narcissism in women is typically appears in the less obvious variety, which is less commonly diagnosed. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be a bit more accepted, just kind of like everything in society,” says a young adult who posts about her co-occurring conditions on social media. It’s fairly common, the two disorders co-occur.

First-Hand Experiences

I find it difficult with handling criticism and being turned down,” she says, whenever it’s suggested that I am at fault, I either go into a defensive state or I become unresponsive.” Despite having this reaction – which is sometimes referred to as “ego wounding”, she has been trying to overcome it and listen to guidance from her support system, as she doesn’t want to slip into the damaging patterns of her earlier years. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners in my youth,” she states. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she says she and her partner “maintain an agreement where I told him, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, if my words are controlling, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood primarily in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of healthy examples in her youth. It’s been a process of understanding continuously which behaviors are suitable or harmful to say when arguing because I never had that in my formative years,” she comments. There were no boundaries when my relatives were insulting me when I was growing up.”

Origins of The Condition

Personality disorders tend to be associated with difficulties as a child. Heredity is a factor,” says a mental health specialist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “linked to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to cope in formative years”, he adds, when they may have been overlooked, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting specific standards. They then “continue to use those familiar tactics as adults”.

Similar to other of the NPD-diagnosed people, one individual thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The individual explains when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve good grades and life achievements, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “worthy.

As he grew older, none of his relationships lasted. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he states. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He felt incapable of forming deep connections, until he met his current partner of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, like him, struggles with mood stability. She is “really understanding of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he says – it was surprisingly, she who originally considered he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Subsequent to a consultation to his general practitioner, an assessment was arranged to a mental health professional for an assessment and was informed of his condition. He has been put forward for psychological counseling through national services (ongoing counseling is the main intervention that has been demonstrated to benefit NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the treatment delay for 18 months: It was indicated it is expected around maybe February or March next year.”

Disclosure was limited to a small circle about his NPD diagnosis, because “negative perceptions are widespread that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, privately, he has embraced the diagnosis. This understanding allows me to gain insight into my behavior, which is positive,” he explains. Those interviewed have accepted their narcissism and are seeking help for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the condition. But the existence of online advocates and the rise of virtual networks suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number