Ex- English leader Lewis Moody has revealed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet deal with the full consequences of the muscle-wasting condition that claimed the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was a member of the 2003 championship side and lifted several English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast two weeks after discovering he has the condition.
"There's an element of facing the future and being reluctant to fully comprehend that at the minute," he stated.
"It's not that I don't understand where it's progressing. We grasp that. But there is certainly a hesitation to confront the future for now."
Moody, talking together with his wife Annie, says conversely he feels "peaceful" as he directs his attention to his immediate health, his family and making preparations for when the disease worsens.
"Possibly that's surprise or maybe I deal with matters differently, and after I have the details, it's simpler," he stated further.
First Symptoms
Moody discovered he had MND after detecting some weakness in his upper arm while exercising in the gym.
After physiotherapy failed to improve the condition, a series of scans showed nerves in his central nervous system had been damaged by MND.
"You receive this diagnosis of MND and we're understandably extremely affected about it, but it's quite odd because I think I'm perfectly healthy," he remarked.
"I don't experience sick. I don't feel unwell
"My indications are very minor. I have a small amount of muscle loss in the hand area and the shoulder region.
"I continue to be competent to doing anything and everything. And optimistically that will carry on for as long as is possible."
Disease Development
MND can develop rapidly.
As per the charity MND Association, the illness kills a one-third of people within a 365 days and above half within 24 months of detection, as eating and inhalation become increasingly challenging.
Medical care can only slow worsening.
"It isn't ever me that I am upset for," stated an moved Moody.
"It's the sadness around having to tell my mum - as an sole offspring - and the implications that has for her."
Personal Impact
Speaking from the household with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by sentiment when he mentioned breaking the news to his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the traumatic news, saying: "This was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two excellent boys and that was pretty upsetting," Moody stated.
"We were seated on the settee in tears, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog jumped over and commenced licking the tears off our faces, which was somewhat silly."
Moody explained the focus was remaining in the present.
"There is no solution and that is why you have to be extremely intensely concentrated on just welcoming and savoring each moment now," he stated.
"According to Annie, we've been truly blessed that the sole determination I made when I left playing was to allocate as much period with the kids as attainable. We don't get those years back."
Sportsman Connection
Top-level athletes are excessively impacted by MND, with research indicating the incidence of the disease is up to six times elevated than in the broader public.
It is believed that by limiting the O2 obtainable and causing harm to nerve cells, frequent, vigorous exercise can initiate the condition in those previously predisposed.
Athletic Career
Moody, who earned 71 England appearances and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in acknowledgment of his courageous, relentless approach to the game.
He competed through a fracture of his leg for a period with Leicester and once caused a training-ground altercation with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he discarded a tackle pad and commenced throwing himself into collisions.
After coming on as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the end of the throw-in in the decisive moment of play, creating a platform for half-back Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to score the game-deciding drop-goal.
Backing Community
Moody has already notified Johnson, who skippered England to that victory, and a handful of other ex- team-mates about his diagnosis, but the rest will be finding out his news with the rest of public.
"There shall be a time when we'll need to lean on their assistance but, at the moment, just having that type of love and acknowledgment that people are available is what's important," he stated.
"The sport is such a excellent group.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even should it concluded now, I've appreciated all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you have the opportunity to consider your love your profession, it's one of the most important blessings.
"Having accomplished it for so extended a period with the squads that I did it with was a pleasure. And I understand they will wish to help in any way they can and I anticipate having those talks."
